I was just looking at one of those 'prove you're not a robot' passwordy things and it struck me there are some weird things we do that could make people wonder what we were all about back at the turn of the century. 

Not sure about anyone else but with those password things I try to make words out of them.  Some combinations can be very funny and I wonder what someone in the future might think about their use. 

amfrght - am a fright
drsienmv - dress in mauve

Another thing to think about is watching a video of someone playing a Wii with no sound and not being able to see what they are following. It would look like they were challenged in some way.

Mmm food for thought.

The question

As I have said before I am happily single and divorced for almost ten years now.  My gorgeous daughter calls the day her Father and I separated 'Independence Day'.  She tells me it's the day I really started to come into my own and have grown significantly since then. 

Being separated and divorced certainly has some challenges but that's no different to anyone else. My husband and I parted on reasonably amicable terms although it was a decision that was taken out of my hands a long time ago. I will not go into all the details but lets say I chose to never do anything I would not be proud of in the future. But just sometimes something comes out of left field that can be a challenge I did not expect.

There have been family celebrations that have posed some problems but my children are very supportive and we manage to work around most things.  However on the weekend I was posed the question from my lovely granddaughter "Where's your husband Nana?" I replied "I don't have a husband Soph".  Then only as a four year old with a very enquiring mind (and who is also a wedding-a-holic)asked "Why" 

Now she as is four and I am definitely not going to go into a lot of detail. I can't really remember what either her Mum or I said but we fudged over it a bit with a little bit of an explanation that Nana used to be married to Poppy. I am not going to denigrate her much loved Poppy or get into any discussion about his partner.  I know as she gets older the question will come again and I want to be ready and the older she gets the more details she will want.  But I don't know what to say. 

Could it be something like: Sometimes when people get married they don't quite fit together right and so they decide it's better to just be friends and not live together.  

It's one I will have to dwell on for a while. It was such an innocent question however on reflection has upset and hurt me much more than I thought.

It's a bit like a game of chess

Some could consider watching politicians and their antics to be a little on the weird side but over the last few weeks with Federal and State politics in overdrive it's worth keeping an eye on.

Over the last few weeks the argy bargy of Federal politics with Julia and Kevin and the will he won't he looks like a smoke screen to me. 

From my point of view the Labor party are hanging Julia out to dry until after the next election and then she will have to fall on her sword and low and behold one of the faceless (or not so faceless) men will be there to take over the reins and rally the support of the numerous factions in the party.  My bet is Bill Shorten and Simon Crean have their eye on the job but both had better watch out for Greg Combay in the wings. 

As long as the Liberals say as little as possible at the next election they will walk into power. The public will like for a little bit then the pendulum will swing the other way and the public will dislike them, there will be more leadership battles (this time on the other side of politics). The public will vote and off we go again.

Very tactical; the whole thing just like a game of chess.

Please explain?

I'm sure you have noticed my posts are becoming a bit spasmodic. It's that work thing that keeps wearing me out and by the time I get home and prepare some dinner etc. etc. etc. I'm a tad tired. Keep tuning in from time to time as I'll be sure to put some more rantings out into the blogosphere.

Today I have been driven to distraction with crappy driving syndrome.  I am sure this is a beef for many people but today it was driving me crazy.  I'm not a hoon but I like to travel on the speed limit where possible.  Can some one please explain why the driver you get stuck behind on a stretch of 80km per hour road can only manage to travel at 60 - 70 kms but when they get to a 50 or 60 zone they all of a sudden think it's ok to travel 10km over the speed limit?  Perhaps their foot is stuck on a 70km speed setting.

Why does the crappy 70km driver always sit steadfastly in the right hand lane just keeping pace with the twit travelling at the same speed in the left lane. ARRRGH!!!

Also please explain why drivers with red P plates seem to figure as a disproportionately higher number of drivers practising creative driving on our roads.  Like the driver today that turned right from a left turn only lane.

And the two second gap which I try to keep between me and the car in front is just enough for 'Mr I've got to get there faster than you' to cut in front of me.  Oh to have a car with a big foam bumper like the traffic response utes.

As you can probably tell I was a bit over it today and I'm sure you can tell driving is not my favourite thing. Some days I have flights of fancy that everyone will be nice on the drive to the bus stop.  Mmmm I could catch the bus all the way in but the trip is so long my bum would be numb and by the time I arrived and I'd could be stuck on the bus. Not a pleasant thought.  So if you feel the need to drive slowly in the right lane or cut into that two second gap, think twice because I might be in that car behind you and just have taken possession of my new car with the big foam bumper.

It's a great day

Yes I'm full of 'positive' today.

There was no alarm to wake me and I'm looking forward to spending the day with friends and family celebrating Australia Day sharing roast lamb with all the trimmings, pavlova and chocolate ripple log.  Not a day to think about the diet.

I'm unashamedly a proud Aussie and to me today is a real holiday. One to kick back and relax, create new memories and enjoy the lovely country we live in and share it with the people I love the most. I look around me and am grateful for all I have and the opportunities I have been given and worked hard to achieve.

I think this is part of the revive I am looking for. Now I'm off to celebrate.

AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE. OI, OI, OI.

I found one

After my musing about the pursuit of things that may soothe, inspire or revive, I think I've found one that works for me.

This little ray of enlightenment hit me while impatiently waiting for the bus to get home after work.

One thing that revives me is a laugh.  It doesn't have to be a full belly laugh that ends up hurting your sides could be though just depending on what happened.

This is weird but I saw something (right now I can't even remember what it was) that gave me a little chuckle and my impatience and frustration disappeared. Then it hit me there was a little revival going on inside my head. 

I love a good laugh but I'm never sure what will trigger it.  I know my friend Deb and I have had some fantastic ones over the years and I know there are more to come. 

Laughter is so spontaneous and those little endorphins start tripping around and the next thing you know you are feeling 'different' and the revival has started.  Of course you can't laugh all the time but I know I'm going to be looking for the funny things just to get a little rush that will get me through the day. 

Here's a saying that made me laugh today.

'If you keep getting melons maybe your dyslexic'.  Think about it.

I'm back

This returning from holidays has thrown a spanner in the works.  I am up with the sparrows and get to bed well after dark. My first day back at work on Tuesday was a rude shock to the system and if I could have found a way to have a nap at about 1 o'clock I would have happily curled up under my desk. Unfortunately it has been hectic catching up and getting back into work mode and many pleasure activities have taken a back seat and as you would be aware my blog is one of them.

My holiday was certainly a time for reflection and I'm still looking for things that may soothe, inspire or revive me.  As my daughter has been saying I need to be present and not dwell on the past or invest too much time worrying about the future. I am sure I inherited the worry gene from my Mum. One of her favourite sayings was 'It's a worry' so no wonder.

Naturally work takes up a lot of my thoughts and I need to learn to let go and leave it at the office where it belongs.

I haven't found anything in particular to soothe, inspire of revive but by being in the moment (away from work) I can drift off to wherever my mind may take me with silly thoughts and some contemplation. How will I find these things and also perhaps find my passion? I don't know but stay tuned.

Going forward

Over the last week I have either sat down to write on my BLOG or at least thought about it but my mind just seemed to be blank.
　
I have slept in, rested, read, caught up with family and friends and generally relaxed. Am I felling recharged? No. I was so looking forward to this break away from the everyday.
　
Not having to go to work and wake up with the alarm every morning. That part I have enjoyed.
　
Catching up with family and friends, yes that part I have enjoyed.
　
What I think of as relaxing, yes I’m enjoying that part as well.
　
So why am I feeling more tired, tense, less enthusiastic and generally out of sorts?
　
Don't get me wrong I am grateful for all I have. I love my peace and quiet and time to reflect but am guilty of negative inner dialogue. I am blessed to have a very supportive and loving circle of family and friends however positive reinforcement from those around me does not stop those negative thoughts.
　
I have been challenged with my weight and fitness for many years. In my head I know I have to watch what I eat and exercise more and have tried many times to stick to sensible eating and exercise plans. My heart or inner self does not seem to get it. I hate the word diet as for me (and I’m sure many others) it has very negative connotations. My diet is exactly what I eat not some plan where I have to have a pantry full of legumes and dry crackers that I eat only once a week. Have you ever noticed how most diet plans have a different thing for breakfast lunch dinner and snacks for 7 – 14 days? Bloody ridiculous and impractical as you end up with all this rubbish going stale in the pantry and becoming science experiments in the fridge. Bring back the simplicity I say.
　
Perhaps a change of focus may help. Forget the eating plan. Maybe it’s time to really look at what will soothe, inspire and revive ME!
　
Time to start looking for things that really soothe me so I can sleep contentedly at night.
　
Time to look for inspiration so I can embrace each new experience with gusto.
　
Time to find the key to being revived so the circle of me is complete. Then I can put a lot more into the rest of the world. As my daughter told me recently: ‘Live the life you love and you’ll love the life you live’.  Maybe then my heart will get it.
　
How will this pan out? I don’t know but maybe the first step of putting it down in writing for others to read is the start.

Holidays

I am finally on a much-needed holiday from the stresses of work.

Many people have asked me what I’m doing on my break. When I reply just relaxing and spending time with family and friends I often get a funny look. To me a holiday is a break from the everyday things I do.

So instead of being out of bed at 5.35am and getting myself off to work I can sleep in with no alarm to wake me. It’s amazing how more refreshed I feel if I wake up with my body clock and not the alarm. Try it some time it really works.

For some people a holiday is a time to go mad seeing sights in different places, having new experiences and creating new memories. Racing top get to the airport to catch a plane to who knows where and probably having a really good time but then needing a holiday to recover when they get back.

Don’t get me wrong I like to travel but the best way for me to recharge my batteries is to plug into the family and friends I have around me.

Chilling out and making time for everyday things is as much of a holiday to me as one spent in far away places. Try it you might like it.