Conversations with Mum

As I have mentioned before my lovely Mum has Alzheimer’s disease. She has no short-term memory and has a lot of trouble following any sort of instructions. She forgets most things she is told however seems to have a knack of remembering who she is cranky at. Also she can’t remember what she said two minutes before. I don’t get to see her very often as I live in another state but we do talk on the phone, which can be very interesting.

She has been in a home for about nine months and in her moments of clarity will tell anyone and everyone she doesn’t like it and she should be home looking after my Dad. It’s been a tough year for both of them getting used to living apart after 63 years of marriage.

Conversations with Mum can go something like this:
Mum: ‘Hello, who’s that?’
Me: ‘Hi, it’s Jennifer. I’m just calling to say hello and see how you are going’
Mum: ‘Oh it’s good to hear from you, what have you been up to?
Me: ‘Not a great deal. The kids are all well…..’ etc, etc.
Mum: ‘Oh that’s good to hear. I haven’t been here very long. I only came up here today. The motel is very nice and there’s a bit of this and that going on but I don’t get involved in any of that stuff. It’s lucky you didn’t call me yesterday as I wasn’t here. I was in Stawell’ (the town she has been living in for the last 40 years) ‘I get a bit bored now and then and I’d rather be home looking after Grandpa’.
Me: ‘Oh I see. I thought you might like to join in some of the activities they have there’
Mum: ‘No I just like to keep to myself but some of the staff are alright and I go an sit in the lounge room and read the paper sometimes. And how’s the family?’
Me: ‘The kids are all well ….. ‘ etc, etc.
Mum: That’s good to hear, I haven’t been here very long…..’ and the conversation goes around in circles for another ten minutes or so.

For Mum her degeneration has been very slow and it’s apparent now that she was using all sorts of tricks to make it look like she was not forgetting things.

Alzheimer’s is a very cruel disease as her memory is slowly slipping away but she is a very fit and active 85 year old. Many people half her age would be hard pressed to keep up. Gone is the opportunity to sit down and have a chat. I miss the person she was and hang onto many treasured memories. Thankfully for now she can remember some of the stories from our childhood and there are times when we can have a laugh but they are slowly disappearing. She shares memories of her childhood more frequently now but it’s hard to know if they are real or just her imagination as there are many I have not heard before.

Treasure and record what you can as one day it may no be there any more.